What You're Looking For
by Ryuki Kokoro
Summary: Insight from a seemingly one-dimensional character. The truth behind the charade... is it really truth or is it just a lie? And who would be the answer of the big question? -One shot-


What You're Looking For

AKA Kurmoi's muse and the result of DOA3's random

Hey, guys. I felt insightful this evening, and felt like writing a story for a character I don't normally write as/about. So I picked this character, then used random to determine the other character. And… let's just say I love my random. -Snuggles random-

Seriously, though, no matter how much you love or hate this guy (and from what I've heard, it seems to be the latter rather then the former), he isn't going away. And insight will make it _all_ better. Right? Right!

So, enjoy. And just be grateful I didn't make this shounen-ai, like I was intending. (Yeah, I bet -insert aforementioned randomly picked character here- will love me for it. Well, I can dream!)

* * *

I sit.

And as I sit, I wonder.

For the first time, I sit and look at these people. The people who have influenced my life without intending to. The people, who I think nothing of as we fight, yet mean more to me then a close friend or an intimate lover.

Odd, that, using 'friend' and 'lover' in the same statement. I haven't found a true love, not yet. For all the flirting, teasing and cockiness I thrive on, there is something there which people don't get to see.

Or perhaps they just ignore it.

Maybe they don't see it. Maybe all they see is the flirty, teasing, cocky me.

Tina comes up to me, her beautiful face betraying an expression of concern.

"You look so thoughtful. Does it hurt?"

My charade is flawless. Perhaps too flawless.

"Of course it does, Tina baby. And it's just because I'm thinking about you and what I can-"

"Alright, stop right there. You lech!"

She wrinkles her nose, but it's obvious that she is amused by my… antics. She walks off, talking with Hitomi, occasionally turning back to glance at me suggestively.

Perhaps it's stupid of me, to base my whole life around a lie.

But now, I live that lie. And there's no turning back.

This lie is _me. _And I am that lie.

It's so much easier to hide things under an outgoing exterior. Nobody would ever think that someone so outgoing, crude and opinionated could _ever _have problems. Could _ever _doubt themselves and their identity. It's simply unheard of.

Behind my sunglasses, my eyes are scanning the courtyard. Everybody has gone inside. Everybody, except for one person.

I stare over at him, and wonder.

Does he use a charade to hide his true self? Is he also living a life of lies, deception, betrayal?

Really, I wouldn't know a thing about him. Not if it popped up with my cheeseburger.

_"Yes, rumour has it he's only a year or two younger then you. Would you like fries with that?"_

For everything I know about everyone else from the tournament, I really have learnt nothing about him. I've only spoken to him once or twice. And that was enough.

Most people's expressions read 'Oh my god, he's such an arrogant ass'. And that's the way I like it. But… his didn't. It had something unreadable. I never liked that.

Not sure what it was. But it seemed scarily like pity at the time, and that just freaks me out more then I can say.

He looks up suddenly, as though feeling my gaze on him. I slide my eyes away, assuming that he won't notice. That _is _what sunglasses are for, after all.

The next thing I notice, he is standing right in front of me.

A rather innocent look on his face, considering he's some sort of big-league assassin or something in the ninja world. Hell. I never would have thought ninjas still existed in this day and age. I would have assumed they were wiped out in the Stone Age with the dinosaurs, or something.

If you shed that much blood, destroy that many lives, how can you have the gall to look innocent? Is that being patronizing, or atoning for your sins?

Atoning? I _must_ be thinking too hard.

"What's your problem, dude?" The words ease out of my mouth, roll off my tongue.

"I was about to ask you the same question. Perhaps not worded the same way, but the general gist is identical,"

Such a cool demeanour. Is it him? Or is it really just a lie?

"What makes you think I have a problem? Do I look like I have a problem?"

The second the statement comes out of my mouth, I want to take it back. Cue a sarcastic comment, anybody.

But ninjas obviously lack the sense of humour one calls 'sarcasm'. Either that or they are damn good at ignoring it.

"You seem as though something is weighing on your mind,"

"And your care factor is not zero, why?"

If anything, the ninja seems rather… bemused. Guess when they teach you a second language, they don't teach you about care factors.

Let me rephrase.

"Why do you care?"

Silence. Simply cool eyes, distant as empty plains, staring at me. Staring right through my sunnies, into my soul.

Not a pleasant feeling.

"I don't know. Do you wish me to justify my reason?"

"Actually, yeah,"

A wan half-smile appears on the ninja's lips. "I cannot. Forgive my indiscretion,"

He starts to walk off. Before I can think twice, my big mouth has opened and is speaking of its own accord.

"Do you?"

He turns around. Has no idea what the hell I'm on about. Probably thinking something along the lines of 'Man. Are all Americans this crazy? Is it contagious? Do I have enough time to run away and plead ignorance?'

Come to think of it, I don't really blame him.

"Excuse me?"

I decide, seeing as I already sound like a class-A idiot, there's no harm in further solidifying that title.

"Do you live a lie?"

He looks stunned. Perhaps he's stunned that I have words as long as 'live' in my vocabulary.

At first, I think I've pried too deep. Not the coolest thing, to tear apart a best friend's personal life. Even more uncool, when you don't even know anything about the person other then their name.

Oh, and maybe their age. But nobody's counting.

He faces me fully, so I get the full view of those ice-cold eyes. "You do not live a lie if you believe that what you are doing is true. A lie is only a lie when you do not believe,"

"And just what is that supposed to mean?"

I look at him for answers, before realising my mistake. The brick wall would probably give me a better answer. And it would be a clearer one, too.

"And you didn't answer my question,"

He smiled that wan smile, that smile that can mean everything and nothing at all. Ninjas must have to take a vow or something.

_"I forever vow to make myself as possibly enigmatic and confusing as possible so normal people have a hell of a time trying to understand me…"_

Yeah, I'll just shut up now.

"No, I didn't. And the answer is simple. I do not believe in much any longer,"

Before I can say anything else he is gone, in that annoying-as-hell way the ninjas have of disappearing in various nature-related things.

His words, however, echo in my head. _I do not believe in much any longer._

_A lie is only a lie when you do not believe…_

And I had finally figured out what he meant. Just call me Einstein.

No, don't call me Einstein. I don't believe I'm some old smart guy with crazy hair and an unnatural talent in science.

I believe I'm me. I _do_ believe that.

And believing in me means that I am not living a lie. Easy as that.

I must have just imagined those passing words. Must have been the wind. He wouldn't have said them to me. Not the Japanese super ninja, not the enigmatic-as-hell-itself Hayabusa.

_"I hope you find what you are looking for…"_


End file.
